Wonder Management

I have often wondered at many things. I normally turn these things over and over in my head...to find some method to the madness that I'm normally witness to. Frankly, I like thinking. It makes me feel comfortable with the goings on. I'm therefore often subjected to hearing interesting remarks like, You think too much...or...Dont think...or...You analyze things you dont need to...or...you love paralysis by analysis dont you. Actually, they are all right. Sometimes, thinking can be a burden too. There were days, when I needed to be alone to think. I have over time perfected the art of thinking even in the company of people. I have obviously reached a stage, where it tires me. It takes away from me the Present. It takes me into a future, the uncertainity of which leaves me hassled and tensed. A close friend adviced me "To just Let go!" Cause frankly, where I am today is not working for me anymore. Whatever I did with my thought process back then, worked for me then. Doesnt anymore. Which takes me to this wondrous thought...Change is the only constant.

I am a Management student. Biotech in basics. And I should ideally be accustomed to change and tackling of the same. Essence of strategy or finance or marketing or even HR is what works today may or may not work tomorrow. Should'nt that have been a hint enough. Biotech taught me the same thing, viruses constantly reinvent themselves, R&D needs to constantly tackle the dynamic threat from transforming strains. I now work in the Pharma industry, where the crux of the business boils down to how quickly one can adapt the incredibly dynamic world of medicines, which in turn is governed by the effervescent viruses themselves..!! Success but naturally depends on how "quickly" we adapt to that change.

I wonder if Change should be regulated? In which case, life would be so predictable. But how bad would that be? Predictability. I would think less. I would know whats going to happen. I would'nt be afraid of the unknown. And if anything, I might just start looking forward to my days.

I wonder how my life would be if I had the best digestive system! (Sigh, I can only hope.)

I wonder what would happen if I stopped expecting. And never got disappointed.

I wonder what I would be like if I dint have to feel the need to impress people.

I wonder what it would be like if carbon trading became more stabilized and a regulated market.

I wonder how it would be if there was a policy that stopped people from hating each other.

I wonder if my office had a work from home option and bean bags instead of desks and movies always playing in the background!!!! (Gawrsh)

I wonder at people who put others down.

I wonder at people who have fallen in love. For that matter I wonder at people who have fallen out of love. I also wonder at people who have never fallen in love. I find myself wondering if I'm made of concrete.

I wonder at my performance at work. Sometimes I amaze myself. And sometimes, I frustrate myself.

I wonder while I'm driving, if people would ever learn to care about other people on the road.

I wonder about how the hell have I reached the marriageable age so quickly!!

I wonder at my own disconnect from everything and everyone.

I wonder how I've gotten to almost 27 without experiencing so many things. And I wonder about why that makes me sad.

I wonder about all the changes that happen around me on a daily basis and the changes that happen within me on a daily basis.

I wonder at my own lack of propensity to handle fears.

I wonder at my absolute will to fight so many good things that happen to me.

I wonder at myself so many times, as to why I need someone else to allay my fears.

I wonder if my inner voice, my intuition is synonymous with my fear. Or vice versa.

I wonder why it takes so much time to achieve something you really really want.

I wonder about my own strapping desperation, to convince myself that good things can happen to me too.

I wonder about my friends, who dont understand me anymore.

I wonder how I have managed to cage myself in.

I wonder about how I will get out.

I wonder about the growing tan on my skin!! :P

I wonder about how people would react if they discovered my thoughts. Would I seem to vulnerable.

Heck..I wonder about wondering..!!!!

Lord.

In all this...I realize the importance of hiring my own Wonder Manager. So the puzzles in my head can be decoded. And I can get some sleep.

At the outset, I do know one thing...Change is the only constant. And perhaps I will never stop wondering. And I guess that's good for my growth. What enabled my growth sometime back, is not a tool anymore aiding me in the process. I need new tools to manage my wonder at changes and my growth.