The "ReMiNdEr" Trip

There are trips..that are considered philosophical, life changing, empowering, self-redeeming, religious, sporty, family times, save the marriage kinds...lots of kinds. Few trips are the reminder kinds. These kinds remind you of why you are friends with somebody and they with you, the good ol' feeling of wasting life away with your best friends. The kinds that remind you of why marriages are made in heaven, the goodness of people, the "new and old" about something, customs long forgotten, old fishing methods newly seen by a certain someone, who is so used to city life, so much so that "she" looks for toilet paper wherever she goes. I'm not "she". Hehe.

I just got back from my "reminder" trip.

ThE cUsToMs: There have been days, when I have looked upon many customs with disdain and irritation. Some of them have a way of making you feel rather burdened about things. But lets blame it on the human connotations shall we, 'cause humans have spent more time on the preparations

for the nonsensical activity and may have spent little time dwelling over what it symbolizes. This one custom "totoo" in Bengali weddings are series of needs and necessities packed in the most innovative of ways are given to both the Bride and the Groom. I figured a lot of effort must have gone into the wrapping. And in that effort I could see the bold presence of thoughtfulness in the wrapping style. A relative of the Bride told us that this "totoo" is a way of showing off to the relatives. I looked at the gifts but I couldnt see that intention reflecting anywhere. Made me wonder, are marriages and associated customs all about blatant self promotion! A family friend of the Bride then told us the purpose of this custom. When the Bride walks into the Groom's home, she shouldnt need anything more, walk in with that feeling of security that her needs will always be taken care of and that her new home thinks of her needs as much as the home that she comes from. I liked this explanation! A lot! It reminds me that customs were designed to symbolize a greater understanding of the journey through life. Designed on experiences that leave you enlightened and fulfilled. Our effort in the days to come, is not to retain the customs, but understand the symbolic importance of each of them and hold on to that.

tHe FuN & fRoLiC: There's always some fun and frolic :P at weddings. You meet new people, make friends, make temporary enemies. That aunty who just wont quit staring at you, you're worried she's imagining you with her son... a son you almost immediately hate. The food, that's so delicious, you dont care if the calorie count for that day is already tipping towards critical. You miss your jeans more than ever, tracks feel like godsend, everybody is tired including the bride and incase of the Indian weddings, everybody feels like theyre getting married! Oh...fun is just abundant. I caught my friend in that moment. I'm sure she was probably trying to say how sleepy she is and that she can't sit anymore. But the fun in the photo just cannot be missed. The circumstantial evidence points to her trying to kiss someone's nose. I'm glad she's not an avid reader and she finds my blogs long and boring, she will never read this one :D. I'm safe. New places also means, new cuisines to try. You dont mind digging into roadside food, which suddenly doesnt remind you of the swarming germs colony, like it does back home. You are carefree. You just want to try something new. You like it, even before you've tried it. And then when you do eat it, no guesses there. Its a reminder. A reminder of how important it is to be a roman in rome. To live like the people of that land can be quite liberating.

ThE fOoD: So a couple of phuchkas later, my taste buds found themselves indisposed for sometime, laying in a ditch somewhere, high on taste, snoring in blissful sleep with not a care in the world. I also managed to do in some aunty made chicken, uncle made prawns, aunty made omelettes by the river side, reena made tea (never again), lopa made grudging tea (in exchange for applying hair oil + some massages), couple of sandeshs later (Bengali pronunciation-shaundesh), I did gather some inches. I avoid non-veg, for many reasons, but damn those fishes just glide down your food pipe don't they. I suddenly forgot why I gave up non-veg. But the best of it all was the Brinjal and Daal. Oooboyyyyy. I'm there. I'm eating. I'm enjoying. I'm at peace. Sigh. Food and Indians. We don't wonder. We just eat. And worry later. Reminds me of a crucial lesson in life....Enjoy! Helps one smile more.

Marriages are MaDe in HeAvEn: Every now and then, when cynicism takes over, hope is a variable in the equation. At such times, open the mind and the heart to the happenings of the world. Well, all I did was observe. Observed the gushing bride and groom, the excitement.. obvious and the eagerness to tackle the path ahead. What was going through their minds, I dont know, but I'm pretty sure it was all positive. The bride has always told me to "Have faith and Be Positive". For whatever it is worth, its a reminder that faith and positivity can move mountains (in a very metaphorical way ofcourse). Faith has this effect on all non movable objects. Faith is an outcome of courage. And courage is a decision. Faith+Positivity....an infinite combination, with intangible results. People who have managed to do this, have assumed a responsibility of sorts. They must pass this on to the eternally plagued. Yours truly is often found haunting this corner of the world. Lets hope I run into more such people. The sunshine people. They constantly remind you of the sunshine moments. If not...motivate you in the right direction.

The trip also reminded me why I'm best friends with the people I am best friends with. The warmth of their families tells you, here are friendships that will last. I am not grateful for their presence but merely thankful for their affection, in which I revel and feel secure. With our new friends, we shared a lot of our old sense of humor, we heard new reactions to it, blissfully refreshing. The boat ride across the ganges, the debris, floating hyacinth-very important for all biological purposes-natural filters, someone stealing my puma floaters from a religious place (sigh), the river side talk with aunty (heart to heart-find someone, get married, whats wrong with you people!! ), stohls shopping, posing with the shades, advices on how to put on weight (u-huh)....thank God for new experiences and thank God theres a little bit of Columbus in all of us!